... the weasel has left the building

... hi everyone. this blog is officially dead. you can see a new me @ http://trendesignsnw.com/blog/ if you'd care to continue reading about me, laughing with me, questioning with me and more. if not, well... i fully understand. i'm not even sure i'd follow myself around to be honest, and i know my shadow isn't always thrilled about it.

so, update yer links if yer so inspired. on the new site you can even subscribe to my RSS feed so yer sure to never miss a beat in my exciting life. honest. i expect maybe 1-3 entries a month. my gods i'm on fire.

'nuff said.
~ peace, love and puppy dawgs all.. i'm out.

... whad'joo do this weekend?

... i looked at houses and houses and houses and houses! found a coupla' contenders too! went with a laaaady-friend of mine too who made it all the more fun. we had a blast in fact. we sorted the houses based on what looked good, called the agents to try & get in, GPS'd our way around, saw some ghetto places and some really nice places. (nice place below) overall, it was a tiring yet worthwhile adventure! i'm doing number-crunching now to see what i can really afford and all that jazz... who knows what the future holds!

she even protected me when a bug got on my dashboard and freaked me out.

(gawds, bugs freak me out)

so, aside from buggies attacking my car, it's fun looking for a place. i'm in the ultimate position of being a buyer w/no contingencies and the ability to move on a home now now now! wish me luck on my hunt!

... and then there were lights

... my goodness peoplz this has been a month to remember already. storms caused flooding in offices in my area, entire roads washed away, people (me included) stranded on highways for 2+ hours when attempting only to travel 1.5 miles HOME, our company moved from it's original site of 15+ years to it's new one on HIGHER ground thankfully as the rains came flooding & rushing in and more!

on another note, likely NO Fuzziechadsrule vote this week... sorry my dear friends, but i'm too busy and don't have the time to dedicate to you all the hours (ahem) it takes to slave over (15 minutes or less) the pictures and tirelessly write (add +- 3 minutes) the witty remarks per entry and upload them (under 1 minute)

so, as you can see, it's jes' too demanding (coulda posted there instead of here by the time i'm done with this entry) and i need to take a brief respite until next week.

on another another note, i got my christmas tree up. took about as long as this entry took to write, and yesh.... camera shots are blurry... call it artistic merit, damnit... (couldn't find my tripod) LAST PIC is a schweeeet sunset i recently witnessed.

ode to a once, proud new toy

... dearest duckie, you led a brief life of joy, squeaks and sqwocks. you made mah doggeh smile, romp, stomp, wheel and wiggle.

you broke a votive holders, when soaring through the air unannounced, even marked the wall with your winged trail of dog slime... and yet, you will be missed. you fell victim to "foul" play, gutted of stuffing long before your time. it's sad really, it's really got me "down."

my dearest maddie lurved you so... and tho you lasted a mere 3-4 days, which we all know in dog years is so many more, we'll add a feather to our proverbial "cap" of other fallen toys and their memories, tho few shall be so sweet.

need proof of teh four-legged one's passion toward you?, and how she longed to share your webbed-goodness with others? view on, little duckie... view.... on.

... what to say

... is often a mystery to me. i often get so wrapped up in what's happening in my life, whether personal things, work or whatever, that i forget to reach out to you all to say hello! i know, i've been bad. here... slap mah' hand. soooo, what's been happening in my world? here's some details about one of the most annoying things i'm dealing with. it keeps me up at night... it really does.

my downstairs neighbors are a**holes. they've complained more than once about my dog who, while she's not a barker, apparently walks. this walking and subsequent walking sound has drastically effected the beforementioned a**hole's sleeping schedule and overall quality of life. i've now become paranoid in my own rental home. i actually find myself tip-toeing around the damned place. i even snapped at my sweet baboo, maddie, for running down the hall with a toy in her mouth. omgi'mahorribleperson. did i mention that she ran down the hallway 'cuz she was happy i was home and then got yelled at for being that happy doggers? i'm scum. oh, and the once-again beforementioned a**holes have a little demon of a new baby that screams and cries into all hours of the AM. this very frustrated and annoyed at apartment living person hasn't filed a complaint about the demon-child once...

due to the issues mentioned above, i'm beginning to look into property. i'm considering purchasing a house that once again, is near my office and would offer amendities such as: no a**holes bitchin' about walking dogs, no apartment managers telling me what a horrible dog i own due to her unacceptable walking behaviour, and actual garbage and recycle cans of my own picked up weekly (or whatever) so i don't have to lug plastic bags down into my car and then 4 blocks away to the "community drop off" bin that reeks of puke, other foul things and unmentionables.

breaking a lease is a bitch. fees, occasionally credit dings, and more truly do effect the "fun involved" in telling all these apartment-based dwellers where they can stick it. they actually and truly do stick it to you in the long run. sooooooo, this has caused me simply to do some intelligent long-range thinking (different from free-range, 'cuz that's chicken) about how long it would take me to raise/save the 10+% needed to invest in a new home. between bonuses, eating crackers and my base wage, i could possibly do it within 6months or so.... so it's not entirely out of the realm of possibilites.

thoughts anyone? comments on what a babbling psychopath i am? advice? fanz of free-range chickens? do share.

... i'm ready for my closeup

... yah, okay not really. hello to you all, hope everyone's well. i was extremely flattered when jes' the other week brought me news that a friend wanted to purchase some of my photography for his home. i rarely do this, as far as sell my work, but he was adament, and offered up the challenge that i should pursue more opportunities to brighten other people's available wall-space.

so.... while i'm almost embarrassed about this, i'm a tad proud and wanna share to all and any of you. If anyone who either wants to add some goodness to a blank wall in an office, home or whatever - please consider giving my photos a consideration. i feel they would make great gifts as well... but who am i to judge. (*cough-biased-cough*)

click on the image to visit my photography! framed or original prints, it's your choice! ... and please, know that i'm not expecting anyone to purchase this stuff... i mainly think it's super cooh. (note there's a new sidebar link too!)

... one of those days

... this week needs to end soon.

... fish onna stick

... i'm back peoplz! hope you all are well. i wanted to write you all and say hello and of course share some of my pictures of a recent adventure i had with my belurved' father-o-mine.

we jes' got back from a week in kentucky area (we'll call it the williamsburg vicinity) where we spent a good couple of days being fooled by the fish at conley bottom lake. my father has asked me months back if i was interested in spending some quality time being teased, poked at, joshed with, fed well and see some scenery with a friend of his that he knew wayyyyy back in his college days at Indiana University. he later ended up living near his friend and actually hiring him as they both began their careers in higher education. they spent many hours of every possible day fishing and bonding back in the day when they were supposed to be fathering newly born children and more... so this was bound to be a treat. except for a time in 2002 when my parents visited them on a different trip, they hadn't seen each other and barely even communicated for over 35 years!

naturally i said yesh... i mean, how could i not? i already received all of the above, so why not change the scenery a bit too, eh? we had an absolute blast! the kentucky heat made it a bit impossible to catch any small or largemouth bass or crappie's (pronounced "croppie" for you non-fishers) but it was fun non-the-less. pics to follow have some headers to read and enjoy... glad to be back, but not glad to be back to over 4000 emails and work drama! ho hum! the battle continues!

old fishermen and an old dock... you judge who's more weathered! (my father's the good lookin' one in back)

nothing like gorgeous picture opportunities and good rusty stuff to look at!

if the first one is barely a refrigerator magnet in size, try again! (biggest i snagged was 16 inches +)

we shore' ate good.... (meh) but scenes like this @ cumberland falls national park made up for it!

kentucky's vistas catch your breath, and so does seeing the kentucky down's raceway! (where's seabiscuit!?)

... what kinda bait you got there?

... likely gonna hear that a few times. i'm taking a trip next week with my father. so, to make a long story short, we'll either have a really great time fishing in kentucky with some of his "college chums from back in the day," or it'll end up like some of the more crude scenes in "deliverance..."

... here's to hoping either scenario ends up as "catch 'n release."

... this jes' in

... for all of you who wonder why i don't often post here, or post much of any real "meat" or "value," i give you this:
what the HELL is happening to Christina Ricci's head?



oh, and apparantly other crazy cat's are readying for battle too... *giggle*



i have nothing else intelligent to say... ;)

... my friends are special

... i lurve my friend sarcomical ah-lawt. she's soooo funneh... and my gods did she jes' explain why this week's off balance for a lot of us apparently. her recent post explains why floods happen, why there's famine, disease, and well.. people allowed to do REALLY STOOPID THINGS. sarcomical is magical, peoplz. trust me.

click here to see her "creative commenting" on a certain someone ending her career. it made me smile.

she also happens to be an INCREDIBLE photographer... so bookmark her, demand she be your friend, and make sure you compliment all of her puppehs!

... fuzzie memories

... are so bittersweet. best remembered with a smile and maybe a tear in one's eye, fer sure. i was thinking this morning on my brief commute to the office about pets. i feel sorry and almost pity for those people out there who have never owned a pet. there's often such a bond, a love and a special connection formed between a lowly human and their "pedestal'd" pet that is undeniably real.

my maddie-dawg, while i tease her, call her silly names and complain in general about her is simply and paws-itively the best pet i've ever had the privilege of sharing time with. she looks at me with those big brown eyes (scooooop my poooooop) and i swear she's telling me (feeeed me) that she's jes' as happy to be with me (ruuuuub mah' belllllie) as i am with her.

most of you know that J and i, while still together, lost our rotund & dearest "fuzzie son" Chase, (a.k.a. mr puddins) months back. that was so completely and absolutely horrible for us both. mainly because Chase proved to be so...well.. almost human with his affection. he LIVED for hugs, would hug back, snuggled (totally spooned) J's head when she slept, took over your lap when he could, adored us, and ONLY wanted to be pet/snoogled/loved 24/7. losing him was like losing a limb. so now, J has "our 2" remaining cats, Cleo and Chewie... and i have Maddie.

when thinking about how Chase effected my life, i suddenly was overwhelmed with grief and recalled my dearest first kittenz, Dewey... i don't believe i've ever shown any of you my first cat, Dewey. she earned that name when she first looked at me with those big eyes that said, "love me." omgoodness she was jes' as loveable in return!!! she was a russian blue, had a painfully high squeak of a mew and loved to partake in drive-by rubs, tail all-a-whippin', and had a permanent love affair with sunbeams. she would kneed on me anytime she could too... of course, only when sunbeams weren't aplenty.... Dewey fell sick years back, and an unbeknownst asthma attack that caused upper-respitory failure took her from our arms within 24 hours. we were stunned and shocked into submission.

why do we all do this? succumb to teeny animals, care for them, love them and yet are forced to hope they survive for-ev-ah while they just.. don't!? i gotta tell ya, i'm reduced to almost-tears when thinking about someday losing my dog. i'm not sure what i'd do! she's occupied such a huge place in my heart for 6 years now.... how would i fill that gap!?

i know how... there'd likely be a puppy out there for me... a new friend... a new loyal companion, and damnit, i'd do it all again.

... how to end a week right

... wif' a leetle bit of hammie-tunes. (for the record, the owner of this sweet lil' hammers needs to possibly be pummeled for distracting 'eez leetle friend from a 'eez poppycorn eatin' bliss... enjoy yer weekend, peoplz!

... that's jes' how 'dis weezer rolls

... well, at least it's how i rolled back into town. quietly, discretely, and although jack caught my tail, most of you remained unaware.. bwa ha hah ahahaaaa! yesh, i'm evil. i said it, but you all still put up with me, so there.

i'm going to post some random pics-o-goodness (purchased a new 10.3 megapixel Nikon D40x Digital SLR camera) from my trip across the country... and really, that's about it. while i do tend to post some personal stuff on this site - well - this trip was for me and me alone. i had some wondrous times driving 26+ hours straight, and while i would've liked to stop more along the way, i had a brain flush that was much needed. i'm sure as hell not cured yet, but i saved myself from having a meltdown at the office and in my personal life. flight instincts can't be all bad when they protect those you care about around you.

i thought a lot, reflected a lot, yelled a lot, wondered a lot, planned a lot, even cried a lot... and oh yesh, drove a helluva lot too. overall, the trip was very cleansing... i snapped some shots too, that you all may enjoy from misc. places around the country. i drove through WA, ID, MO, ND, SD, IA, IL, WI, MI and finally had to return. (work demands and other stuff) i may write more about my journey, but as beforementioned - it was for me and personal - so.... thanks to those who've welcomed me back.

i missed you all terribly. here's some pics for you to enjoy. click to view larger.

(first pic is a collage of some really sharp butterfly pics i was able to capture, and 4th picture has a mystery FROGGIE in it, can you find it?)

... when's a sign a sign?

... i dunno friends, i jes' dunno anymore. some of you have commented to me either online thru various resources or email that i've been distant. well.. yesh. i have. as beforementioned in other entries - at times i jes' don't have anything to say. guilty as charged. i'm going away tho for a bit, but fear not; i'll post next week's fuzziechadsrule's three contestants on friday so you can all still vote next week and carry on the tradition.

in the meantime, you all stay wonderful, cooh and ever-so-damned sweet as you've all been to me. means a lot.

... getcher wiener, right here

... omgoodness everyone! what WERE you thinking!? this is a family show! many of you have emailed me asking when i'll get off my tuckus and start creating on my 3rd (yesh, 3d, i know...) blog, somethinsketchy; well, it has sorta kinda maybe possibly begun!

i recently purchased a 12"x19" Wacom tablet. it's a seriously incredible device that allows you literally draw/paint/airbrush/brush directly onto the surface as if it were real... (ooooh, exited shudder) the surface, being so large, allows a artist like yours truly to make everything from a broad brush stroke to a tiny lil' daub of paint on a canvas texture... basically, it RULZ.

so... to treat you all, since my frame of mind lately can only be described as chaotic, i decided to do a test run and show you all my wiener. enjoy.

... 'dere's a gator on yer butt

... since a dear friend of mine recently posted about her growing excitement over halloween this year and her connundrum of "the best outfit to wear;" well, i figured it'd be best to share something i found which could only be surmised in one simple sentence...

"dis' is the bestest puppers halloween costume ev-ah!"

yeah, i know it's for the dawgs, and not 'da peoplz, but holy hell people i had flavored water shoot outta my nose when i saw this.

... vroom vroooom vroom

...since you all were cooh and said, "yesh, show me your new car goodness;" well... here you go. i got myself a saturn VUE SUV Hybrid! i'll spare you all the eco speeches about fossil fuels and humankind's eventual destruction and simply say that it's PIMPIN!

pics are from my cell, so sorry they're not stellar, but DAMN the drive is! i'm averaging about 27-34 miles a gallon, and considering i used to get 14 mpg with my hyundai sante fe SUV prior to... i'm a happy camper. it's a good fit, ergonomic seats (wif' bun warmers!) and easy flip down seats for TONS o' storage, room for puppers and camping gear, etc!

i'm pretty stoked to say the least! if anyone looks into an SUV that is a hybrid, i'd give ya' my recommendation for this one. i drove 3 other brand/models and went with this badboy due to handling, features, design and yesh - price.

anyhoo... jes' had to share. hope you all have a great week.

... who's afraid of the big, dark bat

... well, jokes on us people. while i normally keep my fan status quiet of certain films, characters, etc., i cannot deny my giddy level of excitement over non other than heath ledger who's been cast as a younger 'joker" in the upcoming July 2008 release of the next BATMAN film.

does everyone recall jack nicholson's version of Batman with michael keaton? he was brilliant in the role, and while the memory lives on of that great performance, a new direction is being taken with the 2008 film. heath was asked to read a batman graphic novel called, "the killing joke" and consider modeling some of joker's now famous maniacal ways after Alan Moore's famous 1988 depiction. true fans of the dark knight series consider this rendition the golden chalice, if you will, of joker's truly evil nature. (note the picture of joker in the lick above at the bottom of the story's write-up!)

the pics that follow are not 100% guaranteed to be true, but my online source has been spot on with such pics, news and details about movies as the Transformers, (saw on the 4th - goseeitomgoodnessitwasfun!) the Lord of the Rings series, and even the Batman Begins movie from 2 years ago, which sucessfully rebirthed the batman series.

anyhoo.., the first pic has been circulating for about 2 months online. it's said to be a test run with a more "chaotic application" of joker's infamous clown-like makeup. the other 2 are a possible studio-level freeze frame of joker's incarceration in arkum asylum and an marketing slick/image to be used for wider "poster stills."

all i can say, being a creative and visual person myself.... holy crappola this looks cooh.

... cat's meow?

IT'S CAPTION CONTEST, PEOPLZ!
... cat gotcher tongue? lets have some fun. leave a comment that you think best suits this image... have fun, be creative, try to be reasonably civil, and we'll see what all you creative peoplz come up wif!


i know what my caption would be, but this is a family show... :)

... iWant

... and holy hell, i have a feeling at some point i will get. i've got a raging techno schwing for this new iPhone by none other than those bastards at apple and all their white coated lab rats that do nothing all day except dream up ways to make me purchase all their shit because it's superior, functional, easy to use and i'll-be-goddamned-if-not-always-so-f**king-pretty.

breaaaaaaathe. i'll be fine... but holy hell looky! it does everything i need a wireless device to do except my dishes! crap! that functionality will prolly be part of a future software download! it can play veedio's better than my iPod, it can give me maps and directions because omgoodness i'm directionally retarded and sooo need something (or someone) to tell me where the hell i am, and more more more more more.

how's that kool-aide taste, you ask? well pretty damned good thank you very much!

... take that apple

... i get extreme joy out of watching this video. listen to the words carefully before you all get too excited. the technology is here and now, and by god so is the sarcasm.

... whatcha doin?

... hmmm? whatchoo been doin? you wondering about me, eh? well.. i've been keeping myself busy. and yesh, due to requests from some of you to see what mah' new digs look like, i decided to give in. i spent most of the day cleaning, and actually getting to some projects i've put on the "later" list. (it's called procrastination peoplz, look it up) Maddie was a dutiful cleaning mate as she continually brought me toy after toy after toy after toy to see if one of them would be 'the best' one for me to play with... (and yesh, i'm not a monster, i played with her constantly)

after a sudden flurry of emails deciding sunday's plans, i have the parents coming up to see the place... so that should be fun. maddie's all excited too; everytime i choose the right tone to say, "grandma and grampa are coming!" she gets all huffy and her haunches poof up. she's become such a good guard dog around here. i mean, all birds deserve to be barked at if they land on my back porch, right!?

here's the pics. anyway, most of the stuff you'll see below i already had... a couple of things, like the TV, i splurged 'cuz damnit.. i jes' wanted to. sue me... regarding the camera angles? i basically had fun with my camera and now you all get to suffer through it. enjoy.


my new samsung c300 color laser... omg i'm in love. it actually purrs when it prints.


coffee... onna timer... 6:15 brewtime baby! how did i ever survive without this?


can you say "plasma hitachi director series 1080i goodness?" i knew you could...


living room angle. nice place overall. my fav thing? it's bright with biiig windows! eep!


mah' bbq coleman baby! it folds up and is ready for a tailgate party! woop woop!

ummm.. light... especially drooly when it's tiffany/frank lloyd wright lookin'!!

maddie's the best. she keeps me company, plays often, acts as a guard dog, and only asks for payment in the form of food and that i scoop her poop... without complaining.

i hope you all have a wonderful "rest o your weekend" - leave me a note if yer so inspired to.

... keep on truckin'

... can you see me now? many of you have asked for an updated pic of me via this site. not sure really why, since i'm still convinced i have a face jes' made for radio, but hey... you ask, i deliver.

it's not too exciting. of course, with that being said, i'm not too exciting either. oh, and apparently i'm either on fire currently or being subjected to a slow burn convection oven.

not much to share this week so far. busier-than-hell week already booked up. at least it's turned back to fun ol' dreary-looking outside washington state weather. of course, murphy's goddamned law struck again: i pad $13 bucks for teenagers to clean my car at a local garage station via a drive thru monster - and today it rains. ... rrrrgh.

... i have nothing really to say

... and i feel bad about that. i only have scattered thoughts that some of you may or may not care about. hell, i'm not even sure how i feel about it all. i read all of your entries. everyday. i feel bad that sometimes i jes' don't feel like i have a damned thing to contribute. so... well, i sorries. here's an update on me.

1. i'm all moved into my new apartment.
2. it's nice and bright.
3. maddie's all set up in her routine now. (i think she loves making me bag her poop now that i'm "sans-backyard")
4. it's quiet. almost too quiet.
5. this is all my choice, but it's hard. the quiet is deafening.
6. i've been alone now with my thoughts for 2 weeks. it's amazing how little i've accomplished.
7. J and I are on cruise control now. house is sold, closes on the 15th. we're basically waiting to get a fat check to pay off ALL of our debt and split the rest. ho hum.
8. i'm working prolly 12 hours a day on average now. most of it is catch-up since there's so much to do.
9. i believe maddie thinks the downstairs neighbor's lil' poof dog is a cat. (she was raised by 3 of them...)
10. i feel empty. even being social with friends leaves me numb. this is all very, very confusing.

anyway, it's hump day. halfway through the week people. i hope you all are having a great one. all i can say is that every day i try to make it a good day. that's a start in the right direction, right?

... has anyone seen my bunners?

... okay, okay, i really don't have my very own prosh leeeetle bunners. but for anyone who's been a fan, a voter, or consistant viewer of what happens on my other site, fuzziechadsrule, you'd think i did.




i will try very hard to be a consistant blogger over the next week, but it may be difficult. we're packing up the rest of the goods today and moving out of our home of 3.5 years. a lotta work went into this place. work to make it a better place for us and our marriage. unfortunately, mainly due to my own misgivings about my life and other things i cannot put into words right now, it's become a place not suitable for me.

FCR may be late next week while i wait for internet hook up and all that crap... so be patient with me, and i wish you all well. i will likely be able to check in witchoo all during breaks at the office, but as life often teaches us; there's no guarantees.

... for sale, but not to idiots

... okay, wow. i've never been so swamped by fake offers and scams in my life. i'm trying to sell a really nice TV on craig'slist and holy hell have i been attacked by FAKE offers and scams trying to screw me, take my product, leave me with no money, and maybe attack and hold me for ransom.

it's a great TV! 51" panasonic hdtv! huge! nice! jes' don't wanna move it! and these are the types of offers i've been getting in email: (this is NOT edited by me, i swear...read it carefully and enjoy the sheer horror...)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Message:

Dear Seller
Am Laura Anderson by name am interested in the purchase of yourElectronice which i saw the advert on the internet today and i was highly interested in buying it from you.if you dont mind i will like to know if it'sstill available for sale and your last offer price so that i can make plans onhow am going to buy it from you, i will like to know it present condition. will you Accept Us Postal Money Order as a mode of payment, because there's a client and colleagues of mine (mafia?) who will be ready to send you payment py post if we bothaggree on the term and condition,if this is ok by you kindly get back to me with the pictures of the Puppy.Hope to hear from you soon,Best Regards,Laura Anderson
____________________________________________________________________________________

WOW, what a hold this person has on the english language! Sure, i know some people have some issues with grammer.. but this seems to me like a hack and slash cut & paste job. and yesh, my friends... "kindly get back to me with pictures of the Puppy..." i dunno. do ya THINK this sounds like a scam? I don't wanna end up in a ditch somewhere... I think i'll pass on this offer, but damn it was funny to read.

... OMG OMG OMG how cooh is this?

...HOLY FRAKKING FAST BATMAN! Woop woop! Even got full asking price BEFORE a reduction! (we panicked 2 days after listing @ $360k) we lowered it $10k but the offer came in the other day offering full price, and yesh, they asked us to pay some closing fees and give'em a new carpet allowance. FINE! DONE! SOLD! signing papers soon! eeeeep!

... buy my home, please

... i know i know, it sounds like some bad joke. we really do wanna sell our home though. i know all of you are dying to move up to the gorgeous pacific northwest, right? we've got the perfect house for you, sitting on jes' shy of an acre. fully fenced, filled with all kinds of upgrades. how many koi ponds do you know that are terrorized by great blue herons, eh?

that's right baby... this gem is going for a steal of a price of $349,900.00, and the seller's are highly motivated to sell. New roof, all kinds of inside upgrades, and much much more.

anyone convinced yet? c'mon peoplz! clicky here for more info! MLS#: 27072086


front yard shot of new paint, new roof, accents like specialty lighting, new stained glass door and more!


many of you may recall my kitchen remodel! it's done, it works, it rulz! you likey, don'tchoo!?


this backyard has been a great time for us, sprawling with all our plantings, birds, all kinds of nature and great for maddie's frisbee games!


koi pond! marshmallows over the firepit! what more can you ask for peoplz!?

i sorries...

... my deepest apologies to you all out there in bloggerland. i've not been keeping up with your posts or mine. i'm trying tho. i really am. it's jes' hard sometimes. i really don't have much to say really. nothing intelligent at least.

my mind is a wasteland. filled with thoughts and questions and fears of which i have no idea how to organize. the picture i edited today was, safe to say, not one of my best. then again, the less people see of me prolly the better. the term "face made for radio" is an addage i've heard before, and for so many years grew comfortable with. the pic sums up a lot of my issues tho. i don't know what i'm doing anymore. it's funny too, since i have a job that takes care of me, family and scattered friends in my life that mean more to me than anything, and yet i feel so empty sometimes it takes more energy than i have to get out of bed... or to resist crawling back it at any moment.

life takes turns. it's up the the driver to know how to navigate those turns. i think i've been a very poor driver lately. my life is changing. mid-life crisis? dunno. f**ked up and full of issues? quite possibly. all i know is that i'm hurting people around me that i don't know how to communicate with anymore. that's not fair to them.

so, bear with me out there people. please. i'll try to be good. i'll try to write. i jes' don't have it in me to share my daily bullshit, because frankly, i don't even wanna know about it, much less write about it. i need to be alone to find some of these answers. i'm sorry. no worries tho, for anyone wondering about my other site, FCR; i hear the management still works over there and won't let any of his fans down...

for the record, our house is up for sale now. and nnnoh, i don't know where i'm going. if anyone knows any buyers in the lynnwood area in the pacific northwest, be sure to send them my way.

... stop the world, i wanna get off

... for any of you out there who don't know me, be ready to either open-mindedly read an uneducated opinion, or run screaming to someone else's blog and have a nice day. i'm a bit of an idiot overall, see? i don't like politics, i hate watching the news due to the media's fascination constant and mind-numbing highlighting of humankind's hate and voilence toward each other, and i get easily pissed when people try to force their values and/or belief systems down my throat.

with that lengthy caveat now in tow, i give you my only opinion and/or odd reaction to the recent shooting tragedy that has swept the nation. (need i even add that all the goddamed movie studios are scrambling for the rights to the story to turn into a damned hollywood blockbuster, those SICK BASTARDS)

i heard a compelling yet gut-twisting radio talk the other day talking about this shooting tragedy. when i first heard the radio caller begin to state his case, i was pissed, irritated and even contemplated changing channels due to his goddamned audacity to ask such a question. but then it hit me... what if he's got a valid point?

his question was simple: "not unlike the passengers who fought back and brought down the plane in PA during the 9/11 attack..., why didn't any of the students do the same?"

now, granted that most of us do not know how we'd react in this situation, but when the steam stopped coming out of my ears, i began to listen to "some of his" supporting arguement, and it honestly made me wonder a little bit. the caller spoke of old-school values and morals, along with assumed,"woman and children first mentalities" that were instilled into the "men" of years past. i have to agree with the one fact that yesh, it IS possible that had people stood up to this deranged attacker, possibly fewer deaths would have occurred.

My issue is, well... i dunno. (whimper) should we have to be expected to DO THIS had other steps and measures been taken to prevent this? (don't even get me started on the whole "wtf is the world coming to that we even HAVE to have these measures in place?!")

the caller continued his side and highlighted the brave and now "hailed as a hero" Holocaust survivor who gave his life to HOLD THE DOORS SHUT while students escaped through windows behind him. in my mind, this man without a doubt is hero, was brave and beyond compassionate and honorable for giving his life to the children behind him scrambling for their lives... but my gods, what horrors had this man already faced in his life?, and yet in a moments notice, he sacrificed himself without hesitation for people he didn't even know... my gods, the gift he gave those survivors' families...

woman and children first. right? some people get all self righteous and pissy hearing that. it's not sexist necessarily, but it's respect, it's survival... isn't it? DOES that thought process exist anymore? MORE injuries occurred apparently such as crushed ribs, broken bones, cuts, bruises and scrapes due to students (male and female) hurting one another trying to escape from the entire nightmarish event.

i'm not in any way saying that people are to blame, i am in NO WAY belittling the horror and tragedy of the event, but the "caller" who raised this point and got me to think.

i don't have answers. but i do have pain. our country is learning to cower and weep or run in the face of FEAR. our media is partially to blame, and certain equal assholes running our government causing dissent and radical "anti-america" behaviour everywhere... would anyone care to share their thoughts on this?

... so what, you tink' 'dis is cute?

... then go here. i'm back baby... and maybe stronger than before. i'm like a new and improved product you find on the shelf of your local store; leaving you to wonder what the hell was wrong with the original me? love ya all... thanks for your support over the past week. it's been rough without dear chasey. his presence is greatly missed. i mean, who else could flatten your ass in 30 seconds or less EVERY TIME you sat down on the couch and nonchalantly purrrr as you tried desperately to breathe. 'dats right, our beloved thunderbutt.

nothing new and exciting to report this week. work is busy, being busy is busy, and well, that's it.

... mr puddins has left the building

Good afternoon everyone.

wifee and i are sorry to say that this is our final update on our little boy, Chase.

yesh, it's true. our "Chase" is, in fact, mr puddins... the original inspiration for this web-blog. so, now you know. it's finally safe for the truth to be known. (for those of you who may be new here, Chase's name was originally hidden to protect the innocent. the publc was, simply put... not ready for this much kitten)

Chase was, by far the most amazing fuzzy little creature wifee and I have ever known. he gave us 9 amazing years to cherish. everyone who has EVER been in contact with Chase always adored him immediately; whether because of his alarmingly loud and overwhelming purr or due to their shock at his “plus-size peak” of 26lbs of pure loving cat.

we took Chase home on friday after another 5 days of IV medications, water & nutrients. Chase developed a pancreatic issue after the initial surgery that cleared up (for the time being) his carcinoma tumor that was removed from his liver. contrary to popular belief, the pancreas does not like to be squeezed like a grape or otherwise f**ked with. the ensuing inflammation of the pancreas caused a high fever, complete and total loss of appetite, urge to hydrate and overall effect on his behavior. while seemingly getting over these difficulties at the clinic, upon taking him home friday night, Chase’s overall condition worsened once again.

we took our little guy in this AM for a diagnosis, a shred of hope and were given the tough reality of what we already knew; it was time to let go.

the staff at the our local emergency clinic was incredible. they were so kind.
they removed Chase from our grips to install an IV, so the process would be painless.
then they brought him back for us to say our goodbyes.
they allowed us our time, as much as needed in fact. It was so great of them to allow us to have our space.
it was horrible that Chase seemed to know.

he snuggled in so close to us both and i can still feel his purr run through me.
we knew it was time, but had to do the right thing.

the doctor came in holding a blanket for the table. ('cuz NO one likes a cold hospital table...)

i held Chase so close as she administered the shot.

brave wifee stood by close too. familiar faces for our lil' guy.
Chasey just... went... to sleep.

thank you ALL for your recent contributions to my site over the past month. your kind words and support have been marvelous. see? Chasey even effected people in bloggerland that he's never even met! amazing animal. amazing friend.

I hope you ALL are well. Hug your loved ones, fuzzy ones too.

Much love... bronxbt & wifee

... i need happiness damnit

... and dagnabbit i found it. so there. no silver lining, no happy dances. jes' simple hammie goodness experiencing 'eez first piece of broccoli! what more could you ask for when times have you down? watch and enjoy.
mr puddins is back at the emergency vet clinic. at least 2 days of observation, tests and more to determine why 10 days after the surgery he's still not eating, vomiting bile and more... poor lil' guy. we need him home.

... this sucks royally monkey butt

...well, this posting is a warning to ALL of you out there... my fantastic laptop & my external harddrive managed to fail me this week. on monday AM, i was working till almost 1am with nooooo problems at all. my lappy was fine, in fact shutting down with no hiccups.

i came to work at 6am, and upon firing up the portable PC, i get the error,"no operating system found." well shit. two technicians later, and even after a friend's professional data recovery team hit both the lappy harddrive and the external unit to try to save my data... i'm shit outta luck.

for my somethingsketchy site: i've lost about a years worth of designs, artwork, most of my REFLECTIONS comic and more. they were able to recover some of the comic, 'bout back at the starting point 6 months ago when i started to post entire pages... but ALL the data since (4-5 pages worth) is gone gone gone. you hafta understand my pain over this: every page took about a month to restore, color, redo the layout, type, rasterize, layer, paint, filter in effects, and more... sooo, waaaaaaaaaah! shit shit shit shit shit. this is sooo depressing. thankfully, for portfolio's sake and production possibilities, it's a blessing that i posted HI RESOLUTION pages online. i right-clicked the sonofabeeches and saved them to my NEW external HD and my NEW damned expensive lappy.

for my fuzzisechadsrule site: i've lost a years worth of research and fuzziecutegoddamned animals! that sucks! i also lost all my weblinks, so half the obscure and weird sites i found my material from are gone until i hunt them all down again! aaaaaaaargh! i also lost my entire archive of winners & contestants that i was going to do fun stuff with in the future... guess i need to hit my own site and start 'saving as' so i can get all my shit back... damnitall.

when i purchased my external harddrive, i promised to be dilligent in backing up my data on a religious level. well, i failed that. i had prolly 3 backups performed of my critical data and somehow over the past 4 months, i only backed up WORK data and not my artwork...

back up your stuff peoplz. do it NOW. use a CDR, a DVD, an external HD, or online "virtual harddrives" you can purchase through your internet provider. most of you, who follow my blogs know that i've been so damned busy i've not been able to get "back to" my art on this site. this week, with my time off... i was hoping to get back to it. monday's events have depressed me to the point of not wanting to get outta bed. soooo, we'll see how it goes given that realistically i need to spend time reconstructing all i've lost, and not worrying about the new pages...

oh, and my favorite word of this week is, "shit," in case you hadn't noticed. between my lil' mr puddins being confirmed with terminal cancer and losing all my work... i'm not inna wonderous mood.

hope yer all doing better. seriously. go hug a puppy for me or something.

... update on the shaved poodle (UPDATED 03/21/07)

UPDATE - hello all you bloggerpallys. a little depressing of an entry/update today. mr puddins does indeed have cancer. that's an overall statement tho, 'cuz the doc did remove the now-titled-malignant tumor from the outside of his liver, but it's been deemed the type of cancer (tech. term evades me) that goes into the tubes, and spreads fast and is hard to completely irradicate. due to a previous committment, i'm unable to go with wifee to mr puddin's appointment tonight, but she will hear about options, if any, to give puddins the very best days?weeks?years? to his life.

my personal feelings are so torn over this. i've taken the next couple of days off for other reasons and this AM mr puddins suddenly appeared next to me in bed... he sounded the same, happy purrrrrs and kneeding next to my arm, but he's sooo small now, sagging, and his eyes are a little glazed. my gods it kills me to see him this way. 9 years of vibrant, thunderbutt joy from this loverboy, and now he jes' looks like he's in pain. he doesn't deserve this!!! if his quality of life will be severely hindered, i cannot... well... we cannot be selfish! i don't wanna lose my lil' boy, but damnit he deserves better.

aaargh. anyway. stay tuned. more news when i know it. and thank you all for your kind words of support and fuzzie-goodness.

____________________________

... um, i meant to say, "mr puddins." really. what a tough lil' bastard he is. makes his daddy proud though, yesh he does! our little 9 year old boy (got the math wrong on my first entry) has pulled through a horrific day yesterday when they found a huge mass resting between his gall bladder and liver from the ultrasound.

the price of a small car later, mr puddins has a 6 inch incision/stitch on his fat bellie, a shaved square on his back where a 'pain patch' (like the nicotin patch, but "funner!") and legs shaved like a voilated poodle where the IV drips went. the mass was a gynormous tumor (gynormous = technical term for f**king huge) that was actually attached to the liver and was causing both the liver and gall bladder to act all hinky. as mentioned in the previous post, mr puddins was jaundiced, had lost about 12 lbs, and had stopped eating; well, the gall bladder issue also explains some painful BRICKS the poor doozer had laid too during the past few weeks... oi vey, what a nightmare. we're still waiting for the biopsy results tho... doc removed all he could, but is skeptical. malignant means mr puddins comes home and lives with us as long as he's got left with pain management. Benign means he comes home and lives with us possibly for friggin' ev-ah! ;)



(exposed bellies are funny)

doc rerouted his liver innards, and 'cuz mr puddins survived the night, he was bumped up to "tough lil' bastard" status at the emergency vet and allowed visitors. we went to see him around 6pm this evening. it was positively heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. mr puddins damned near mauled wifee, begging to be brought home. he took one glance at me and delivered a helluva head-butt and proceeded to flop down in my arms which had encircled him on the check out table. (damned metal tables are cooold!)

his big thing is his purrrs. he purrs when he's mad, sad, happy, hungry, pissy, agitated, when he poops, when he sleeps, when he's curled up with wifee, when he's wrapped around my head, when he's got a vet's thermometer shoved up his waz-hoozits, and more...! he purred SO LOUDLY when he saw us. it was almost like he was saying, "mom? dad? i'm gonna be okay... thanks."

actual translation is more like, "mom, dad, get me the f**k outta here!" but we love him all the same. so yeah, our cat looks like a shaved poodle. i can't wait till he gets home so i can point and make fun of him... ahhhh, the good 'ol times... the inspiration for this very blog's creation is coming home soon! eeep!

... how to gain leverage

... you create it. yesh, dear bloggervillians, that's jes' what i did. i'm proud to announce that my company, formerly federal network services, has 110% merged with it's sister company of many years, communication specialists and become a new and exciting international company; Leverage Information Systems.



this is my baby! the project that's kept me up for days and days and days! both our previous company's sites have been seamlessly merged into http://www.leverageis.com i'm so proud of the work our new company has done to help make this public release (yesterday) a success! my coworker/employee (whatever) in crime, Dan, also did an incredible amount of work to make the site possible. anyone who can take my design elements and vision and make it a reality is okay in my book. plus, he's got the stones enough to look me in the eye and say things like, "that's stoopid!" when i get a little weird with my creative ideas on functionality and such.



imagine allllll this goodness being created over the past 2 months! from business cards to letterheads, signage to invoice slips, packing stickers to fax labels and soooo much more! it's an ongoing process now over the next 6 months to a year + to educate our national and even international customers about the transition, how it effects and them and what it means their level of service - it only gets better! eeeep!

anyhoo, thanks to all of you who have been patient with my recent lack of blogging overall, lack of comments on your respective sites and prolly my overall crankiness. it's been a soooper stressfull few months, and while the end isn't in sight jes' yet, some of the toughest hurdles are behind us.

someone tell me it's all pretty! giggle.

... feeling green

... mr puddins needs everyone's help please. known and loved by all, my baby boy is suffering from liver failure and currently not doing too good. for anyone who's read my blog from the start, mr puddins, (who's real name is hidden to protect the innocent) was the original inspiration of my blog, and an often-seen contributor to my comments when posting on other folk's blogs.

he's jes' not doin' to well. he now jaundiced, a sure sign of liver-related toxicity and is actually turning yellow (skin, eyes... so in retrospect i colored this picture incorrectly) my poor baby boy is jes' ragged too. he's stopped grooming, and has lost over 12lbs. and yesh, before anyone begins doing the math, mr puddins was also aptly nicknamed "lardass, thunderbutt, fattyboy, chunkyboy, cougar, and puddins," for his heaviest weigh in was about 2 years ago @ 26lbs. (for any of you not familiar with the pacific northwest, that's about he size of a fully grown cougar, or perhaps a small bear)

while my constant attempts to mask my gnawing pain and torn soul over this sweet little baboo's plight is sad and transparent by my attempts of interjecting humor throughout this post may tire some of you... trust me, it's about all that's keeping me going. with all the other shit going on in my world, my rocks are my stoopid, silly and utterly devoted animalz that keep us both/me sane.

mr puddins is faced with that likely biopsy and the results could see his future involving a tube & plug from his gut/side for 3-6 weeks to continually feed/medicate/fluidate (<-- learned me a new word today @ the vets?) to reverse the symptoms... OR the worst of all possibilities could happen too.

we're not ready to give up on our baby boy. 6 years ago i brought mr puddins into the barnes&nobby store where wifee worked. i walked right up to that middle customer service desk and asked if she had any books on how to care for a kitten. before she could answer, i removed lil' mr puddins from beneath my jacket and plopped him down on her keyboard. holy shit the whole store turned to instant goo... mr puddins was head-knobbing his way around the entire circular workstation and positively whoring it up with anyone and everyone for attention. amidst the "mew mew mew's," wifee and i knew we officially had our hands full.

okay... shit. keyboard getting blurry now. don't think it's waterproof. send your luv peoplz. mr puddins needs you.

... i'm soooo sorry

... hello bloggervillians out there. i'm so sorry i've been distant. it's not you. it's me. i've needed time. i've been sooo busy, stretched thin to the point of breaking in fact. i need to take some time and jes' focus on what's really important to me. yesh, don't worry... all of you are part of that equation. there's jes' soooo much going on that i cannot even talk about. all KINDS of really exciting things at the office that aren't public yet... that I had cooh pivotal parts in... eeeek! and yesh, other things as well. oi vey. i'll leave you all for now with a picture of the majority of my day's commute home; rain rain and a pissy kitty.

... new family members rule!

... especially when 'dere lil' fuzzie monsters! omgoodness, omgoodness, i got to spend the day with the newest member of my middle sister's family! meet "Barkley," everyone! 'eez the squooshiest, sweetest lil' puppery pile-o-goodness i've met in years!

to the best of their knowledge, barkley is a collie/labrador mix. he's sooooo well behaved already! ee'z learning not to bite, fetches well enuf, and already lurves a good flop on his owners lap for a bellie scritch!

oh yeah, it was ma' middle sis's birthday get together too, so that was nice to share her day with her, the beautiful neice and 'growin-up-so-fast nephew! 'course grandma and grandpa were there too! some of you may recall a few months back when i posted a tribute to their dearest lab, Nucha, who passed away a bit unexpectedly. it was time for these special peoplz to welcome in a new lil' puppers tho, and i think they've made a great choice!

Check out the pics!! aaaaaaand click on the pic to watch Barkley's Video! what do you think! eeeep! wiggle wiggle!