... turkey smerky
... nnnoh, i'm not completely bahh-humbug and all, we jes' had a chicken and not a turkey. these past few months have been filled with bumps, swells, goodness & badness and more. not that i'm not happy with all i have, i've jes' become incredibly and deeply involved with my own mind, thoughts, fears and possible futures. when i look back at all the decisions i've made over the past 15+- years, i wonder what if... a lot. i wonder about all kinds of things, and many are way too deep and potentially disturbing and nnnoh, i likely won't be sharing them online here. i'm not comfortable in my own skin tho, and at times i wonder who's 'steering this ship?' it keeps me up at night, makes me worry, makes me stress, even makes me cry. makes me a pain to be around, mood-swingy and at times, downright negative and intolerable. that brings me to my point tho:
thankfully, and yesh, i do have things to be thankful for.. i have friends, family and even adoring petz who have been there for me. yesh, i do feel like i'm losing my mind at some points, but then again, who doesn't once in awhile. right? big lurve to all of you out there who i've come to know, and a fond howdy to those who i've yet to meet. i hope to "see you" soon.
count yer blessings people. they're fiesty lil' buggers, and may be gone before you know it.
8 comments:
(((you))) You look so sad. Hang in there. You know to a degree what I have been going through. I understand the the bumps, swell, goodness and badness.
Chin up. Thanks for updating. :)
this isn't directly related to your post, but i was wondering if you've ever checked out www.zaadz.com? i have a profile on there, and i'm on at some point every day.
about your post: what i have learned about misery is that it is always misery-becoming-something-else. misery and pain are never static. i have come to see dark places as places of creativity, as long as i focus in on them instead of turning my back. if i turn my back, they just get darker and more unbearable. so face it all with feistiness, and the universe will bring you what you need.
we all do the "what if"...we've all been there, stay strong and you will get through all of lifes little quarks.
it's hard, believe me, every day is a struggle
thank you all for your comments. meanz the world to me, i truly mean that.
'ee - actually the pic wasn't mean to look sad... i personally HATE my face. sounds drama-filled, but i don't think i pic' well at all.. so i was fooling around with my camera-phone. i sorta thought it looked "deep-thought-ish"
:)... guess not.
Vesper - I'll check out the site, and no, i know nothing about it. would love to 'see you' tho! it'd be cooh to chat or whatever i'll find there! *scamper *scamper .... :)
justagirl good to see you again. every day IS a struggle, and it's getting worse. i'm making it tho. this time of year is really a bitch tho. gods how i hate the materialism, the people pretending to be nice, the hypocritical behaviours.. makes me sick.
thanks to you all tho, seriously... big hugs and here.. have a bunners:
(\/)
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LOL, it does look "deep thought-ish".... :)
Hey, things happen in life for a reason-- just try to remember that. Even those that have been lower than they ever thought they could go, will once again bounce back up!
/salute
I really can't say much else other than, it's nice to see you post on this blog. :)
Just remember, you have a friend and confidante in Lansing.
Life can be a bitch and a true wonder.
Playing what if can sure be a waste of time, energy and good times.
I'll be sending you some more positive energy. Use as much as you need, then pay it forward to others.
Lurve you, man.
Deep-thoughtish does it for me.
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