i sorries...

... my deepest apologies to you all out there in bloggerland. i've not been keeping up with your posts or mine. i'm trying tho. i really am. it's jes' hard sometimes. i really don't have much to say really. nothing intelligent at least.

my mind is a wasteland. filled with thoughts and questions and fears of which i have no idea how to organize. the picture i edited today was, safe to say, not one of my best. then again, the less people see of me prolly the better. the term "face made for radio" is an addage i've heard before, and for so many years grew comfortable with. the pic sums up a lot of my issues tho. i don't know what i'm doing anymore. it's funny too, since i have a job that takes care of me, family and scattered friends in my life that mean more to me than anything, and yet i feel so empty sometimes it takes more energy than i have to get out of bed... or to resist crawling back it at any moment.

life takes turns. it's up the the driver to know how to navigate those turns. i think i've been a very poor driver lately. my life is changing. mid-life crisis? dunno. f**ked up and full of issues? quite possibly. all i know is that i'm hurting people around me that i don't know how to communicate with anymore. that's not fair to them.

so, bear with me out there people. please. i'll try to be good. i'll try to write. i jes' don't have it in me to share my daily bullshit, because frankly, i don't even wanna know about it, much less write about it. i need to be alone to find some of these answers. i'm sorry. no worries tho, for anyone wondering about my other site, FCR; i hear the management still works over there and won't let any of his fans down...

for the record, our house is up for sale now. and nnnoh, i don't know where i'm going. if anyone knows any buyers in the lynnwood area in the pacific northwest, be sure to send them my way.